We all have aims for the year and things we want to achieve by the end of the year, whether it be we finally decide to buy the house we have been contemplating on buying for a couple of months or deciding to do a sky dive in which we have wanted to for so long, but never had the guts to do it. I have many different aims for the year but my main aim is to be my confident self again and not to care too much about what people think of me.
I would definitely see myself as a people pleaser and I am constantly wanting to please others. I hate knowing that someone doesn’t like me or doesn’t like the way I dress, or how I wear my hair or the clothes I wear. I worry a lot about these things and the slightest compliment can boost my confidence. I wish I didn’t worry so much as it destroys my confidence and self esteem, but it’s just the way I am.
I used to be seen as a bubbly girl who would talk to everyone and anyone and throughout the years, that has changed. My confidence has decreased and I would depend on others to be happy,instead of being happy myself. When relationships and friendships would fail and times changed so did my confidence and my happiness. Due to this I’m not the same person I used to be, and at times I can find it hard to trust people. I am trying to open up more to help with gaining back my confidence and this is why I have made it such a big aim for this year. Although I will never be the same person I was, I know I will feel much happier being more confident in myself, as well as being confident in other aspects of my life.
In 2015, I took a big leap and decided to part ways with all my friends I spent 5 years with at school, as I decided to go a different college than all of my friends. I knew that making this decision would mean I would have to make a whole new set of friends and settle into a different place on my own, but that was the risk I was willing to take to achieve my ambitions. Going to a different college then all my friends from school has also meant that I have stopped talking to many people I used to be friends with, I still see how they are now and again and if we see each other we say “hi” to one another, but my friendships with them just aren’t the same as they used to be. I believe that taking this leap has helped in me slowly and steadily gaining my confidence back, as I have had to socialise and open myself up to new people. It has been a great learning process and due to this I have made many amazing friends.
I feel like there is so many different things you can do to gain back confidence, so I thought I would share a few tips:
1) Be you and do what makes you happy not everybody else! I know at times its hard to be yourself but when you take that step and do so, it will make you feel so much happier. Don’t depend on others to tell you what you should wear and how you look but let yourself decide those things. If you want to wear something wear it, if you want to do something do it, don’t let others make the decision for you.
2) Experience new things. Trying new things is a great way to gain your confidence, as well as helping you to make new friends and meet different people. Whether its joining a dance class because you have always wanted to or simply visiting a new place you haven’t been before. Its all about taking the risk and doing it.
3) Remember to Smile. Smiling is the key to happiness, no matter if you’re having such a bad day and things aren’t going your way, remember to smile. People will ultimately notice and remember you for your smile. It makes you feel so much more confident and helps others to connect with you and talk to you.
Thanks for reading and feel free to let me know your thoughts!